


Nerve Endings

by orphan_account



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Breaking Up & Making Up, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Relationship Study, Song Lyrics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-20
Updated: 2020-06-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:15:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24819772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: The words that started their journey circled around to now. In the beginning, they represented the desire to fix each other. But they could never fix each other. They were not people who needed to be fixed. They were people who needed support.
Relationships: Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi
Comments: 1
Kudos: 51





	Nerve Endings

**Author's Note:**

> hi. i had absolutely no business writing this but here we are. 
> 
> inspired by 'perfect for you' and 'hey #1/2/3" from next to normal

Their relationship had never been easy. It never was and Atsumu knows it never will be. Sakusa Kiyoomi is not easy to love but, neither is Atsumu. They’re both stubborn, prideful, and convinced that the way they see the world is reality. It took Atsumu everything in him to confess to the mess of curls standing next to him in the locker room. He was fresh out of the shower, a towel wrapped low around his hips. Leftover droplets of water were wiped away as he applied a coconut-scented lotion. Atsumu danced around his words, saying everything except for what he really wanted to say. Sakusa just stared at him, his signature disinterest painted across his features. The look was accented by perfectly groomed eyebrows, blemish-free skin, and the two moles Atsumu had always wanted to press his lips against. There was a softness to his eyes, something the faux blonde was convinced only he saw.

“I could be perfect for ya.” He finally manages to spit out. It made sense to him. They were opposites, placed on two ends of a wide spectrum. But Atsumu saw himself in the dark-haired man. “Everything feels right when yer around, Omi.” He could never fix the demons Kiyoomi was fighting but, he wanted to try. There was a lot spinning around in his head, quirks that Atsumu would never fully understand. On Kiyoomi’s darkest days, their apartment was filled with frustration.

“Yer gonna kill yourself, Omi.” He would do everything to get his boyfriend out of his head. The smallest things could set him off. A small cold could push him down and hold him by the neck. He would ask himself what he did to cause himself to get sick, all while scrubbing every corner of the apartment over and over. Atsumu would do everything he could to try and get him to just sit and relax. All he wanted was to hold him, to run a lazy hand through his curls, and convince him that everything was ok.

“You just don’t give up, do you?” He had spat back at him one day, feeling extra on edge because of a leak that had sprung up in their apartment. After all of the water had been mopped up and the surrounding area cleaned, Atsumu could still see him nervously glancing at the corner in search of a missed spot. He knew there was nothing he could say or do to get Sakusa out of his head. He knew what it was like to be trapped there. Atsumu would become plagued by immense feelings of failure. A cloud that had followed him throughout his entire life. He could never stop until he was the more successful twin, the greatest athlete, the best boyfriend. On days where they both felt trapped, their apartment was a warzone. The silence would hang in the air as thick as smoke, following them all the way to practice. Those were the days they worked the best together. Atsumu’s anger would fuel spot-on sets and Kiyoomi’s frustration the force behind perfect spikes. They turned their pain into passion. Passion for both their craft and each other. All of the powerful energy climaxing and releasing as Kiyoomi fell apart underneath him, nails scratching red patterns into his back. Atsumu wanted to spend the rest of his life here. He wanted to dedicate his life to Sakusa Kiyoomi. He knew he wasn’t the only one. Kiyoomi was in love with Atsumu Miya, and it scared him to death. There were days where all he could do was push the twin away from him when all he really wanted to do was pull him close.

“You remind me of me.” He had said late into the night, the covers pulled over his head as he tried to let sleep overtake him on a quiet Wednesday. Atsumu brought out the best in him, the Sakusa who loved yoga, old music, and Sunday morning cafe visits. But he also saw the worst of himself in the other man. The side of him who became fixated on details so tiny they hardly exist, who used a cold exterior to cover the emotions he was afraid of, the side that beat itself half to death with self-doubt. There was a time it had become overbearing, separating them for almost a month.

“Let me know ya again.” Atsumu had broken down after a particularly difficult practice. Sakusa stared straight ahead into his locker, applying the same coconut lotion from when Atsumu had confessed his feelings. He had shaken his dark curls, convinced it was too late. “I’ll wait as long as ya need.” Something had snapped in Kiyoomi, his fists clenched as he held back the tears stinging his eyes. He had left without a word, slamming his locker and leaving with his eyes glued to the floor. His phone dinged as he sat quietly in what used to be  _ their  _ bed, the ping waking him from his thoughts.

>> TSUMU: i’m at samu’s. i’ll always be waiting.

The message remained unanswered until a snowy Saturday night. 

“Hey,” Atsumu’s lips pulled into a small smile “ya came.” Kiyoomi fell through the door, straight into the arms in front of him. “I thought we were through.” The blonde whispered quietly.

“Not tonight.” They sat quietly on the couch, wrapped up in each other. Their skin touched, revealing a craving that had been pushed deep down in both of them. They were never going to be perfect. This was never going to be easy. Neither of them is easy to love. But it’s a love that courses through their veins, a love that sends sparks through every nerve ending.

“I don’t want to hurt you.” Kiyoomi had whispered against the tan neck he buried his face into. He thought of every time he had lost control, and about the blonde stretching himself thin to bring him back. He felt the arms tighten around him, the warmth of their bodies becoming one.

“I will be perfect for ya.” The words that started their journey circled around to now. In the beginning, they represented the desire to fix each other. But they could never fix each other. They were not people who needed to be fixed. They were people who needed support. Their job was not to pull each other up but to walk sideways into the storm they were facing. They needed to depend on each other without becoming dependent. That night, Atsumu came back home. They fell into bed silently, staring into the eyes of each other. The eyes that saw beyond their surfaces.

“Clean slate,” Atsumu whispered. He thinks back to that first day in the locker room. They aren’t the same people they were that night. They’ll never be those same people. But they’ll be better, they’ll be crazy and fucked up, and perfect for each other. 

**Author's Note:**

> come cry about sakuatsu on twitter with me: @itachiyam <3


End file.
